worst christmas ever !

this year is my worst christmas ever . dad's unhealthy same goes to us. well. we're fams right . of couse we felt it that way . along christmas .. there is no pretty happy  smile . laugh . there's a fake . worry anywhere. but we have to blow away that thingy . we're trying to be cool. :D eventhough we're not. tears flow anywhere . everyday .anytime. that's pretty scared . im 14 . but i know what's going wrong. im not any child more. but . i just feel like retreating to my childhood. because there's so much laugh n happy . ow. how i miss it . but we're all knw. who can do that huh? there'se NO ONE can do that ! im going to visit my dad again today . yesterday . we're having sooo much not fun stuff . we're waiting so long to get to know father's condition. and that isn't cool at all. but . WILL GOD TAKE DAD FROM US? im afraid for that will happen too soon. i need some time to spend my day with him . well. i am a bad daughter . always mad at him. always make him mad. i just need the time to be a good daughter to him again. eventhough im not good at all.